


I Need PICTURES! Pictures of Gems!

by SpaceCraze, TerribleWriterWithTerribleStories



Category: Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 00:24:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7779508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceCraze/pseuds/SpaceCraze, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerribleWriterWithTerribleStories/pseuds/TerribleWriterWithTerribleStories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having enough, Peter Parker decides that he needs a break from constant media slander.</p><p>But more importantly, that J. Jonah Jameson needs a vacation...To Beach City!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need PICTURES! Pictures of Gems!

It was a beautiful day in New York City.

Or rather, it would be, if it weren’t for the constant threat of supervillains, common crooks, and having your good name slandered by everyone’s favorite flat top, J. Jonah Jameson.

 

It honestly didn’t matter what Peter Parker did as Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson could make eating a _hot dog_ look like some kind of federal offense; he even saved the guy’s behind multiple times and the only thanks he got was getting burned by the press. Peter rubbed his temples in frustration, unable to believe how stubborn one man could possibly be.

 

_Too bad the Daily Bugle is the most popular newspaper in town._ Peter thought to himself, chomping away on a hotdog, watching the New York sunset from the rooftop. As noisy as New York could be--not to mention dangerous--there was a certain beauty to all of it. _And too bad Jameson is the head of it all._ He sighed, if someone replaced Jameson his chances of being incriminated would certainly lessen. Though Peter doubted Jameson would willingly step down from his position; after all, Jameson dedicated his entire life to dragging Spider-Man’s name through the mud. Seriously, did this guy even have any hobbies? He really needed to get a life. Did Jameson ever do anything besides be angry all of the time?

 

…Though that would explain why he has so many wrinkles, they say stress can cause rapid aging.

 

Jeez. Maybe Peter couldn’t get rid of J. Jonah Jameson forever, but it would be nice to _at least_ take a vacation from the guy. Not that he could just stop being Spider-Man; there were far too many people in need of his help, and like his Uncle Ben had always said: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

 

“Don’t wear it out, folks. Cause I certainly have,” Peter chuckled before suddenly getting an idea, nearly dropping his hot dog when it hit him. Maybe, just maybe...Peter wouldn’t have to be the one to go on vacation. Maybe he’d do the old man a favor and send him on a vacation to...not New York City.

 

With a grin plastered on his face, Peter ran straight home and into his room; Using his computer, he opened one of his many E-mail accounts and began typing, his fingers deftly hitting the keys.

 

“Subject...Spider-Man gone.”

 

\--

 

In the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson sat in his dimly lit office as always; with a lit cigar and a mug of coffee brought by his oh-so-abused assistant, Betty Brant. The lights may have been off, but the windows on the skyscrapers made sure that blinding light would always leak into the building and obscure the view of any desktop monitors. Checking his E-mail (which was usually photos from Parker, on a scale from crap to decent. Usually crap, though), he looked through the various subjects. His eyes laid on the newest from an unknown sender; the username was a mixture of letters and numbers, and since Jameson wasn’t too experienced with technology, he would probably have to ask Parker to trace the sender’s IP later. For now he opened the E-mail, knowing there would be hell to pay for the sender if his computer got a virus.

 

“SUBJECT: SPIDER-MAN GONE?

 

Dear Mr. Jameson,

 

I give to you an anonymous tip about the so called “Spider-Menace”. Attached to this E-mail are various photographs of Spider-Man leaving New York; moving to a town by the name of Beach City, located in Delaware close to the borders of Maryland and Virginia. I do not know why he is there, but knowing that you’re determined to tell the public about him, I thought you should know about his whereabouts.

 

Signed, a friend.”

 

There were indeed pictures attached of Spider-Man in that location, but what reason did he have to go there? Probably to terrorize the good people of Delaware! This person who sent this E-mail was indeed a stranger, but that hardly mattered in comparison to the bigger picture. The bigger picture that Spider-Man had to be stopped, and he was the only man willing to try. Jameson sat up from his seat, already making a decision in his mind.

 

“MISS BRANT!” He shouted across the office building, startling the newer interns and making them fall out of their seats, drop important papers, or spill their coffee. However, most of the employees had gotten used to Jameson’s shouting, simply ignoring it in favor of finishing their work. “call me a cab, I need a ride to the airport stat!”

 

About several hours later, he finally made his flight to Delaware. Unfortunately, Beach City didn’t seem to be much of a city, but more of a small town. Therefore, it did not have an airport.

 

“I can’t believe I had to take a plane to Baltimore! What kind of backwater town doesn’t have an airport?” Jameson grumbled once he arrived at the small town known as Beach City. Though he had to admit, this place had a nice view; the smell of the ocean’s salty water filled the air, along with a cool breeze contrasting the heat. Seagulls flocked the shore, looking for any scrap of food a careless human may have dropped. Strangely enough, despite the man’s love for his city and state, he found himself...content at the silence of this place. He basked in the peaceful, careless environment.

 

Within a few minutes however, he was already sick of it.

 

Still somewhat fatigued by the toll the long trip had taken on him, he decided that he _really_ needed a fresh cup of coffee. He could feel his eyelids drooping and his posture becoming less refined. Obviously that was a problem, seeing as there was no time to take a nap when he had that menace to take care of.

 

He set his eyes on a particular restaurant titled “The Big Donut”. Well, if Jameson knew anything about anything, a donut shop was bound to serve coffee along with the sickeningly sugary treats. All he could hope for was that is was freshly brewed. Not that instant crap.

  
Grumpy as always, Jameson made a beeline towards The Big Donut; mercy be to whatever poor soul worked there if they managed to get his order wrong.


End file.
